You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
