yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
