new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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