between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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