I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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