Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
