as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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