i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
