She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
