when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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