He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
