dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
