I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
