when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
