It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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