This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You smell like a Billy Joel song
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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