please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Operation Purity has been aborted
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
