does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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