I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
