what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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