he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
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you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
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Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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