Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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