do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
