i used baking grease as lip gloss
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
