Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I understand Curling. That high.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
