when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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