Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
