girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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