he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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