I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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