We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Rumble strips road head = magical
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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