I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
