Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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