nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
only you would photoshop your dick
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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