i was rollin on her like bob the builder
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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