he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize