i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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