Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
