I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
