alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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