Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I pour the whiskey from now on
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
