i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
