I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
be right there i have to get my cape
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
