my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
