How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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