with your own penis?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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