she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
