yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
