True but thats because hes a fetus.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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