pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
There was a lot of him and a little penis
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i came on her dog
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
