he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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