I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
