at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm both gender and math confused
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
