So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
