okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
