Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just want nice things and good sex
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
