She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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