when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Randomize
