he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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