I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
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i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
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I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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