Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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